Talk to somebody.
It gets better.
I know all too well how difficult it is to have these conversations. I’ve had them, dozens of them now, and I’m in a far better place because of them. However, I’ve still been rather secretive about this part of my life with all but a few of my closest confidants. That changes today. I want everyone out there that’s going through it to know they’re not alone. Not even close.
I spent years internalizing my feelings and letting a festering depression control my life. I put on a smile every day, careful not to leave the slightest clue of my mental state for my friends or family to detect. Pride kept me from reaching out for help, from showing any sort of vulnerability. Over time, things continuously built. Suicidal thoughts started coming along, then later becoming far more frequent and specific–to the point they’d be better described as “plans” rather than “thoughts”.
I don’t know what kept me from doing it, but I didn’t. I finally brought myself to reach out for help. An immense burden was immediately lifted off of my shoulders. I went to therapy. Things got steadily better, despite the countless day-to-day ups and downs of life. I haven’t looked back since.
Irrationality thrives in isolation. Talk to someone. These conversations seem difficult, and they ARE difficult, but far less difficult than carrying that burden alone. Our greatest longing in life is to be seen and to be heard, and thus, our greatest purpose in life is to see and to hear. People care about you. They will listen to you and they will do their absolute best to understand and help. If you don’t believe anyone will listen or care, then talk to me. My inbox is always open and I am happy to listen to and talk through any problem, no matter how big or small.
You are loved.
Talk to somebody.